I think it's important to buy things your friends will use long after your wedding day. Here's a short list. I also don't think you need to buy them multiple gifts. They are your friends, right?
Brooks Brothers Umbrella - It was good enough for JFK's groomsmen, it's good enough for you. Add a monogram.
2. Col. Littleton, Front pocket wallet (Buffalo) - I've seen Red Clay Soul post about these as good gifts in his now infamous AMA's on Instagram, and I agree.
3. Brooks Brothers Silk Fleece Print Tie - You can ask the guys to wear it to the rehearsal dinner.
King Ranch, Orange Mini Trapper Knife - Keep one in the truck, one in the briefcase, a few at the lake house, I never have enough of these.
5 . Tiffany, Engine Turned Oval Cuff Links - Useable for the big day, can personalize, can't lose.
6. J. Earl & Sons, Glassware - I don't feel like I need to defend or explain this one. The picture says enough.
7. Rhodes, Waxed Canvass Weekender - "Hey, remember that bag I got ya? Throw whatever you have left in it let's go. It't time to check out of the airbnb." - You on our bachelor party.
8. Smathers & Branson Valet Tray - Guys being dudes. They might not thank you at first but their girlfriends/wives will.
"Staying in the moment" is a stale cliché that has dribbled out of the numerous audiobooks I've wasted my Audible credits on over the years. But it was reframed for me and made me take a step back to observe my actions and attempt to be "present in the present."
The best way to simplify this reframing is by asking a question. Why let the ghosts of the past and future steal the joy of the present? A majority of my worries have either already happened and are out of my control, or have not yet happened and in many cases, are simply ceaseless strands of future scenarios that will not occur.
Yet I agonize over the conversation I had with a client and imagine how they reacted privately. I play it back like an old VHS tape and reimagine what I could have done or should have said differently. Or I'm daydreaming about tomorrow's work trip while at the lake.
Outwardly staring at the calm water while internally dreading the travel, mentally rehearsing presentations, calculating possible objections and miscues, debating what I'll wear, if it'll be comfortable on the flight, all the while, everyone and everything around me is pushed into a blurred background while these ghosts steal my attention.
However, with the reframed understanding of not letting the past and future ghosts steal the joy of the present, I perform an exorcism. A momentary conscious effort of focusing on the here and now and my head is clear. It's now that I appreciate the calmness of the water. It was choppy yesterday but now it's glass. A few minutes later a crane stands on the point below our house. Later a pair of ducks swim by and rest in the shade of the boat dock.
I start to lose the present moment when the thought of my return flight jumps to the front of my mind. Damn you, demon. You are not my master! Regain focus. A hummingbird whizzes around my head. I watch its long beak drink from the feeder. I listen to the buzz of its wings and watch it disappear off into the trees. The dogs are sprawled out sunbathing and my iced tea is melting.
It's hard to focus on the present. No doubt about it. But I think I'll enjoy life and the little moments that are supposedly the things that make it sweet if I can actively pull myself into the present and keep the ghosts of the past and future at bay. I also think I would be a more enjoyable person to be around. Why let the people in my present company suffer from my anxiety and stresses of events that have played out or might play out? It doesn't seem fair from a rational 30,000 foot view. But what percentage of our life is lived in a rational way? To wrap this up, I can only say tomorrow will be there. Then it will be the present and can have my undivided attention. But for now I will watch for more humming birds and pour some more ice tea.
-M.D.G.
As much as it pains me to say it, especially after we bailed them out twice in the 20th century, and their general contempt for America (especially Parisians), the French still hold a significant historical and symbolic role in our nation's founding. As we commemorate the 248th anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence this week, let's take the high road.
I've picked four French wines you should try this July 4th. Let it serve as a reminder of the alliance between France and the United States, and how it was pivotal in securing victory against the British forces, ultimately leading to the birth of a new nation. Without the French military expertise, financial aid, and crucial naval support, the outcome of the American Revolutionary War might have been very different. So get boozy.
-M.D.G.